Bukz r Guud

12 Dec

Yes, it has been a long time since I’ve posted something.

Even my last few posts had been in my glass “break in case of emergency” box along with a liter of vodka, a luna bar (for protein), a Russian Passport for a Tootsya Woovich, a samurai sword, and a very detailed list of everyone who has wronged me. I just haven’t felt much like writing. So writing has joined the long list of other things I don’t feel much like doing:


1. Showering
2. Looking for an apartment
3. Wearing pants
4. Taking to people
5. Leaving the house
6. Getting up to go to the bathroom (do people ever get catheters purely for convenience?)
7. Exerting the smallest amount of energy to do anything at all…

Of course, I have been doing these things (…some of them…), I just don’t WANT to. I have the chronic Mondays.

But I have finally been inspired to write due to the horrifying fact that in the precise town I live in there one, count ‘ em, ONE BOOKSTORE.

THIS IS HORRIFYING! I live on the East Coast, outside a medium-sized city and there is ONE BOOKSTORE in almost a 30 mile radius. What is wrong with the world?

The thing is that deep down I have known this for some time, I just refused to acknowledge it. This is a temporary living situation for me, I’m moving pretty soon, but I’ve been here for a year and have been trying to ignore the cracks in the facade, but this just put me over the edge.

And what made me realize this was that I was at the bookstore (I repeat, the ONE BOOKSTORE, so that really slims down the possibilities) and they didn’t have the book I was looking for. Normally, I would hop in my car and drive 5-10 minutes to the other store. Or, even better, if I was where I used to live, I would walk 10 minutes and, BLAMO, other bookstore! But the fact that the only option was ordering it really made me sad.

It’s not just that there is one bookstore in my town. Oh child, no. There is one shared bookstore for all the towns that border my town as well. I want to say 7 reasonably sized towns that all surround a pretty large city. That is more wrong then glitter on a woman over 40.

But let’s examine something: why the hell AM I so sad about this?

First of all, I love to read. And I go through these phases where I just can’t stop reading, which is actually kinda great because I go through many non-reading dry spells. So excuse me for having a lady boner for literature and just wanting books at my fingertips!

Secondly, I love the experience of going to the bookstore. If I have the time I can spend ages in there just browsing, reading the first pages of a hundred books until I make my decision and then once I feel secure in the book(s) I’ve chosen I slyly sneak over to the magazine section and read trashy tabloids, which are perfectly juxtaposed against Hardy’s Tess of the d’Urbervilles (I do that on purpose) under my arm.

And lastly, not to get too over-the-top on this, but what does that say about the type of place I’m living in? Do people just not read here? Is it just not the thing to do? Of course, there could be a few small book-stores that only the natives know about but I really doubt that.

And I wonder if I’m the only one who cares about the absence of alternate bookstores. Maybe I just belong in a different era where not everything is a super-store (because obviously the one bookstore here isn’t a little independent shop) and there aren’t TVs distracting us from every other activity. And trust me, I love me my TV, I spend way to many hours drooling in front of it, but nothing can every detract from a good book.

The other day my mom told me she was buying the movie version of Gone With the Wind and the check-out girl saw and said:

Girl: I’ve never seen this! Is it good?

Mom: Yes, it’s a classic! But not as good as the book!

Girl: There’s a book…?

Shoot me.


9 Responses to “Bukz r Guud”

  1. mooselicker December 13, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    The only book stores that even exist anymore are Barnes and Nobles. I go to the library a lot because I don’t have Internet at home (that’s what I get for living alone and trying to be an adult). I’m actually at the library right now. Most counties at least have one big one. You should try to research it and find one.

    You sound so depressed. It’s grinding with your hipster image that I have of you.

    • tootsiewoo December 13, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

      My towns library might as well me called The Peoples Meth Lab of Drunkensburg. But I am looking to expand my horizons, so why not?? And I’m confused with the word “grinding”… Are you saying my thinly veiled depression is working well with my hipster image or working against it, because if it’s working against it I need to take some pictures of me in too-too skirts wearing a bow-tie with non-prescription glasses because that is not good.

      • Kevin R December 14, 2011 at 10:16 am #

        Depression is the new hipster.
        Grinding is the new working.
        And this blog is my new obsession.

      • tootsiewoo December 14, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

        I approve of this. Thanks, yo, come by anytime.
        Normally would say:
        THANKS!!!!! WOOOOO!

        but I don’t want to hurt my new hipster image:)

      • mooselicker December 14, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

        The third one. I think–

      • tootsiewoo December 14, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

        Haha, thanks ML, I’ll take what I can get:)

  2. For Better GENiUS December 13, 2011 at 11:32 pm #

    there’s so many things to say here so I’ll do it in the most unorderly fashion that I can muster and be proud of while trying to resist the use of proper sentence structure and capitalization. first, i actually was starting to wonder why suddenly everyone i’m following on here ceased the writing for a few days…. i’m not exactly one who’s always active, but still that should be expected from me by now.

    if it weren’t for social niceties I would only take a shower maybe ever 3-4 days iffff i really feel like it, hair getting greasy or when i can finally smell something other than my naturally good manly smelling self haha. i dont like wearing pants especially if a lady is around and i can convince her to not wear pants either (obviously more fun this way… and actually i mean when she tells herself that she shouldnt wear pants around me hahaha).

    now lets combine your lack of writing motivation with one of my handy, foolproof how-to guides for writing: http://forbettergenius.wordpress.com/2011/08/09/the-closely-guarded-secret/

    followed by the most viewed post on my site that is the compulsory act of going to the bathroom in bookstores (preferably in the actual bathroom, not near the shelves where i’m peacefully reading): http://forbettergenius.wordpress.com/2011/07/10/bookstore-brainwashed-body-control/

    actually thats a lie. i’ve tried reading in bookstores before like B&N but I just can’t do it. the music is playing too loud, or really it’s just playing, and then with all the walking around i just can’t focus my imagination in on the pages

    • For Better GENiUS December 13, 2011 at 11:33 pm #

      …this makes me feel like i’m writing a full blog post as a comment. however, i strive to provide actual meaningful FBG posts as often as i can instead of dumb 1st person stories or whatever it is that i kinda just wrote above

    • tootsiewoo December 14, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

      Holy Comment there Batman!! That is a monster of a response and I love it! Also, I have finally found someone that shares my views on showering!! If my hair weren’t so long (joys of being a girl or really committed hippie) I don’t think I would hate it so much, but just dealing with it after my shower takes FOREVER. No thanks. Maybe it’s time for dreadlocks. Ew. Nevermind. And pants, even when I’m in a good mood, are just a no-no. I want to live in a Pants-less colony. I imagine it being like a Nudist Colony for people who actually don’t want to see people cooking with their junk out. I think I’m on to something…

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