Parental Dictionary: Law

“…human beings made sex with rats. That’s where lawyers came from.” -Dad

Parental Dictionary: Wool

While watching the Oscars…

Mom: Why doesn’t Woody Allen ever go to the Oscars?What’s his problem?

Tootsie: I’m not sure, I think he’s angoraphobic so that might be it.

Mom: “Angora”-phobic?

Tootsie: Yeah, “angora”-phobic.

Mom: “Angora”-phobic?

Tootsie: Yes! What?! That’s a word! Angoraphobic! Fear of crowds!

Mom: That’s a-g-o-r-a-p-h-o-b-i-c! What’s “angoraphobic?” Fear of sweaters?

Tootsie: Bitch.

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