Tag Archives: quotes

Bilingual Love

7 Apr

Let me introduce you to my fiancé:

“Do cats poop and pee out of one butt?” he asked earnestly.

That’s right, not only am I engaged, but it’s to a man who is blissfully ignorant of basic feline anatomy. To be fair, I’ve never seen my cat’s Lady Saint James either, so I guess it’s an easy mistake. BUT STILL. And to be even more fair, English is his 5th language, so I think he’s doing pretty well.

If you were to meet him, you wouldn’t even be able to begin to guess where he’s from. He manages to look vaguely Latino, Middle Eastern, and Asian all in one glance, with an accent that is part Russian and part Borat. I’ve seen the guessing game go on and on and people still have no clue, but are very much intrigued none-the-less.

In reality, he is Persian and from a -stan country that was a part of the former USSR, which accounts for the accent and the dark, mysterious, countenance. Yes, I said a -stan country. I’m not PC.

In our daily life, we come in contact with many extreme cultural differences that range from the adorable to the bizarre. There is the cute habit of wearing a hat to bed when he has a headache. And then there is the eating with your hands thing. I cannot get onboard.

But best of all, are the hilarious misuses of the English language that I try it catalogue to the best of my ability. So please keep your eyes peeled for some more gems.

For now, I will leave it at that because we have to “make a laundry” and that might take a while.


Quotation of the Day

4 Mar

“If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.” -Dorothy Parker

Quotation of the Day

29 Feb

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” -G.K. Chesterton

Quotation of the Night

28 Feb

“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” -Robert Heinlein

Parental Dictionary: Muffin Tops 2

31 Dec

One post on the subject should be enough…but it isn’t for my mom. Here is her second attempt at using it…

In response to my dad’s new shirt…

Mom: It looks a little tight…

Dad: Are you calling me fat?

Mom: You know why it looks tight? Because you have a mushroom top…mushroom top…mushroom top?

Tootsie: Muffin top!


Quotation of the Night

14 Dec

“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.” -Mark Twain



Psychiatrist Mom

8 Dec

Mom: Hey, don’t you want some of this soup? It’s really good.

Tootsie: Nah, last time I had it I was sick so it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Mom: You need to have an emotionally corrective experience with it.

Quotation of the Night

6 Dec

“Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.” -Fletcher Knebel

Quotation of the Night

1 Dec

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad mood.” -Douglas Adams


Quotation of the Night

29 Nov

“For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.” -Alice Kahn