Tag Archives: spiders

Make me clean, oh lord

10 Oct

I killed a huge spider that was prancing around my bathroom two weeks ago with a black, open-toed stiletto. I patiently huddled over the huge, human-devouring crawler as it introduced itself to the discarded clothes and bobby pins that litter the tile floor until I threw down my strappy sandal with such force I cracked the bottom of the sole. The shoe is still there, untouched, serving as an unmarked grave for the cat-sized insect and I have yet to even attempt to clean it up. Below is the sad, sad, gross proof…I’m a mess, nice to meet you.

One of my goals in maturation is to learn how to be a teensy bit tidier, even if that means learning the simple act of putting clothes in drawers which normally is VERY difficult for me! I cannot stress that enough!!

I have always considered myself a sloppy but CLEAN person. I might not put my clothes away, ever, and I might have books and nick nacks strewn about the room in random piles but there is no actual dirt or grime. There is simply total and utter chaos. Chaos that I truly believe I thrive off of, though now I know, staring daily at the poor black shoe, that idea is extremely misguided, a mere excuse to use so that I never have to pick up after myself. And it is always my room that suffers from my love of mess (because I really do love it) and no other room as I am respectful and tidy in any room that is considered shared space (kitchen, den, office, etc.). In this one poor, neglected, Khloe Kardashian of a room (she is obviously the most ignored of the family, duh) I unleash all my capacity for disorder and carpet the floors with the various objects that make up my life.

I have included in this entry more evidence of my extreme hatred of all that is organized and pure perhaps as therapy for myself, to be forever confronted with my tidily challenged nature…or maybe I did it to spit in the face of order, it’s hard to say…

…and yes that is a Jane Austen doll on my night table…

I hereby agree to TRY to MAYBE be a SLIGHTLY cleaner person. The first step is admitting I have a problem, right? So I will take the first step towards cleanliness and remove my spider-grave-stiletto. God, I hope it’s dead.