Tag Archives: slang

Parental Dictionary: Muffin Tops

7 Nov

Tootsie: Mom, these pants shrunk in the wash, do they give me a muffin top?

Mom: What’s a muffin top?

Tootsie: A muffin top. You don’t know what a muffin top is?

Mom: Oh, like a mushroom top.

Tootsie: No, that’s not a thing-

Mom: Yeah, your muffin is showing.

Parental Dictionary

3 Nov

This is what my mom said after I explained to her what a “beard” is. For those who don’t know, here is the definition that is provided by Urban Dictionary…


Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the appearance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.

A genuine response from my mother:

“What do you call a straight man who pretends he’s gay? A vagina?”

I obviously relish in the inappropriate.