While watching the Oscars…
Mom: Why doesn’t Woody Allen ever go to the Oscars?What’s his problem?
Tootsie: I’m not sure, I think he’s angoraphobic so that might be it.
Mom: “Angora”-phobic?
Tootsie: Yeah, “angora”-phobic.
Mom: “Angora”-phobic?
Tootsie: Yes! What?! That’s a word! Angoraphobic! Fear of crowds!
Mom: That’s a-g-o-r-a-p-h-o-b-i-c! What’s “angoraphobic?” Fear of sweaters?
Tootsie: Bitch.
SCANTILY CLAD
One of my favorite things to say is “scantily clad.” I would gladly add it to any sentence of mine, even when entirely inappropriate. “Nana, you cannot leave the house like that, you are scantily clad! Put my tube top back where you found it! And that is not a bracelet, that’s a thong!”
According to dictionary.com…
scantily clad- inadequately clothed
According to urbandictionary.com…
scantily clad- dressed like a skank
I dare each and every one of you (I think there are 14 of you…not joking, but I adore you all!) to use “scantily clad” thrice today. I double dog dare you.
What are your favorite things to say? DON’T HOLD BACK.
( Y ) …that’s a butt, and my official new sign-off…
Tootsie: Mom, these pants shrunk in the wash, do they give me a muffin top?
Mom: What’s a muffin top?
Tootsie: A muffin top. You don’t know what a muffin top is?
Mom: Oh, like a mushroom top.
Tootsie: No, that’s not a thing-
Mom: Yeah, your muffin is showing.
Adventures of TootsieWoo 