To Decorate

I owe everything I know about interior design to The Sims. 

I have recently had the daunting task of filling my new apartment with things. By “new” I mean to say that I’ve lived there for a year, and have yet to really add any furniture. I have two couches, a bed, and a desk. That’s it. No artwork, no chair for my desk, and other than one rogue coffee table, no tables. No night table, no side table, no kitchen table. Nothing. And absolutely no art or shred of personality in any room.

How did I live this way for so long? Very easily. In the morning I slump out of bed, throw water on my face, and walk out the door and go to work. I come home when it’s already dark, plop on my bad, nuzzle my cat, and fall into a soft coma. No muss. No fuss.

However, recently confronted with the prospect of having my parents over for dinner, I felt immediately ashamed of my muss-less, barren apartment and made the trip to … IKEA. And looking around at their cute little fake apartment setups that are supposed to inspire you, I was extremely depressed. Do real people have homes that look like that?! With plants, and chairs, and place mats, and AREA RUGS?! Am I the heathen that eats while leaning over a coffee table and stares at empty, white walls all day because I am also too lazy to paint them?!

And it’s not even that I didn’t want to. I was excited at the prospect of changing things up, adding a little spice to the place. I was just horrible at it! I had literally only ever done this virtually. With a a little virtual store that I can cruise in ma’ pjs while eating Frosted Flakes from the box.

So I put my Sims goggles on.  I bought the things every Sims house needs to be “flamijamidi.” A TV stand, a desk chair, end tables, two random decorative pieces for every room, and some freakin bourgeois area rugs. And finally, I was a human. With a human apartment. As opposed to the empty cave I used to dwell in. And I owe it all to my friends The Sims.

 

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