Bourne Again

22 Dec

I chose to spend the day after Thanksgiving (yes, I obviously forgot to post this for a bit…) coming down from my turkey high pleasantly on the couch watching The Bourne trilogy. I am very aware that these movies are not exactly new, but I live by my own clock, baby.

I had seen The Bourne Identity (the first movie) when it just came out but was watching the last two FINALLY.

As always happens when I watch a movie involving the CIA or the FBI, I leave it thinking “I want to be a spy!” I make serious plans to study Martial Arts, learn how to shoot a gun, and start learning a new language (all important spy skills). Lucky for me I already know how to shoot a gun (yeah, I’m awesome) but I can’t shoot one like Jason Bourne! AND I LOVE JASON BOURNE!

And it is always so depressing when I finally realize, “Hey, Tootsie, you know this isn’t actually going to happen, right? That this is the same as when you played “House” when you were little except now it’s weird because you have a college degree and are in your 20s.” Luckily I have a B.F.A., Bachelor of Fine Arts (might as well be a Bachelor of Fine Farts for all it’s good for) so everything from playing make-believe to being a night-time “dancer” is fair game, but it’s still depressing.

But what if it doesn’t have to be make-believe? The CIA and the FBI are real, they must need some new agents once in a while. Why can’t this dream of mine come true?

EXACTLY, no one. It can come true! I do speak Spanish, they must need some agents in Spanish-speaking countries once in a while for burrito-smuggling (yes, I’m obviously avoiding the topic of drug smuggling…except right now…because I just wrote it).

Or maybe I did pick the right career. If I’m an actress I can superficially pursue all of the ridiculous careers I’ve been interested over the year. And maybe, just maybe (definitely) my desire to be a spy is directly proportional to my love of spy MOVIES. I don’t want to be a spy I want to be the chick who gets to mac on Matt Damon while jumping off buildings. Yeah, that’s definitely it.

I mean, when I watched The Beautiful Mind I wanted to be a Schizophrenic for weeks, so…I probably should’ve realized then that it was more a desire to play that role than to literally be that person.

2 Responses to “Bourne Again”

  1. For Better GENiUS December 23, 2011 at 2:10 am #

    Idk… if I was crazy and I got to hang out w/ an imaginary Paul Bettany jumping around, pushing desks out the window and drinking, could be fun. oh we’d have the best of times. then I could get him to introduce me everywhere I go like he did as Geoffrey Chaucer in A Knight’s Tale… well, except that I guess nobody would hear his introductions because they’d be in my head, but at least I’d be convinced that I’m being announced into a room

    • tootsiewoo December 23, 2011 at 6:51 pm #

      You do have a point there, who cares if it’s all in your head? To you it’s all the same and it is still awesome! I would have an imaginary drink with an imaginary Paul Bettany any day!

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