I solemnly swear…

17 Nov

…I will not have candy for breakfast. Like I did today. And yesterday…

Welcome to my life sans job or school.

I recently left my job because I am moving and need to be in two cities at the same time (thank god for teleportation, am I right?). I thought that leaving said job a few weeks before said move(cut to “About Bank,” I repeat, I don’t know how to link things, someone please tell me!) would free me literally and figuratively giving me all the time in the world to research new jobs in new city and allow me to really get on top of the “finding an apartment” thing. Well…it has given me a lot of extra time, I can’t deny that…but what have I been doing with the butt-load of free time…?

1. Waking up late:

I wake up everyday now around 11. EVERYDAY! This not only means I have wasted an entire morning but it stunts my entire day and makes it impossible to ever really wake up. Also I’ve been having really weird dreams due to the many hours I spend asleep…I don’t really want to go into them (of course I do, stay tuned for a new post!).

2. Eating candy for breakfast:

I know this doesn’t really take up my time but it is a frustrating habit that I cannot shake! Shake, milk-shake, mmmm–ENOUGH! I feel like my job-less state (though self-inflicted) has led to me behaving like an actual bum because I already feel like I’m a waste of space. Also, returning to the “walking up at 11” phenomenon, I wake up starving because I have last eaten 16 hrs prior and before my toast pops out of the toaster I look in front of me and there are hershey kiss wrappers (what if there were rappers?) everywhere! It’s a crime scene! There’s foil EVERYWHERE!! And I don’t even notice it happening…

3. Going to the gym:

I feel so shitty about my candy indiscretion I spend the next 2 hours at the gym! I time it so I can watch Rachel Ray be annoying for an hour and Dr. Phil be pretentious and moustachioed for another hour while I  mindlessly burn off Milton Hershey’s mess. Don’t get me wrong, I love the gym! I’ve finally gotten to the point where it is enjoyable to me. But I’m pretty sure I could free up my day if I just cut out the candy-eating and damage-control gym trip everyday.

4. Bull-shit television:

At some point everyday I make the poor the decision to watch just ONE episode of some show or another. This leads to a hulu marathon where my bed becomes a me-shaped fossil and I don’t get up for anything!! And I have really lowered my standards on what type of TV I allow myself to get sucked into which is NOT ok. The only place I draw the line? I refuse to watch The Real Housewives of ANYTHING! Watching plucked and tucked 40-somethings chafe on an in-house stripper pole reminds me too much of my childhood…

So this is the point where I try to motivate myself…right? RIGHT!! Ok so:

NO more candy for breakfast!

NO more all day hulu marathons!!

START apartment hunting!!

NO more waking up at 11 EVERYDAY (maybe every other day is ok for now…I’m not a superhero)

START making it a habit to get out of the house for something other than a gym, ANYTHING to inspire you to action!!

I REITERATE: NO CANDY FOR BREAKFAST.

8 Responses to “I solemnly swear…”

  1. Becoming Bitter November 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    Tootsie, I’m stopping by. I will be back to read and comment some more. I’m busy with a bunch of crap, but I will be back.

    I have question for you: Do you have a twitter? If not, consider getting one.

    • tootsiewoo November 17, 2011 at 9:14 pm #

      Hey B squared! Thanks for visiting! And, no, I unfortunately don’t have a twitter. It is my last attempt to resist technology, but technology is winning the battle so it’s only a matter of time…

  2. mooselicker November 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

    This why I could never quit my job, I would turn into you. Not that you aren’t an amazing person or anything 🙂 but I would do the same.

    To link stuff, highlight it and select the “insert link” button. It looks like a connected chain. It’s the one right after the “right justify” tab. Still don’t have it? I tried!

    • tootsiewoo November 17, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

      Thanks mooselicker, I got it!! And no explanation necessary, I get it! I am a stone-cold mess right now! I’m one bus stop away from Lohan-ville (insert chosen Lohan here, all would be equally mess-ish at this point)

  3. elishevasokolic November 17, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    Haha! You’ve made me miss my pre-baby self. This was pure Mondays.

    • tootsiewoo November 17, 2011 at 9:19 pm #

      Haha, trust me you are lucky to be far away from this! This is a 24/7 routine:) Thanks for stopping by!!

  4. whenthingsunfinish November 20, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

    People spend many years, massive amounts of Botox and countless dates with rich old men to get this life. Keep up the good work! That’s what a BFA is all about!

    Aya (friend of Akeem)

    • tootsiewoo November 20, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

      HAHA omg thank you so much AYA (or possible Aya impersonator, Akeem)!! I will try to look on the bright side and realize that candy for breakfast and junk TV is really a gift in disguise. I’ve had dreams of this life:)

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